1. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain
2. Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.
3. Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a nice plump missionary.- Oscar Wilde
4. Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
And I seem to find the happiness I seek,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek. - Irving Berlin
5. Heaven would indeed be heaven if lovers were there permitted as much enjoyment as they had experienced on earth. - Giovanni Boccaccio
6. Would you know my name.
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven….
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more... Tears in heaven. - Eric Clapton (Tears in Heaven, song about his young son who died in an accident.)
7. Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night. - Chuck Palahniuk
8. O what a heaven is love! O what a hell! - Thomas Dekker
9. In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Nietzsche
10. We are our own devils; we drive ourselves out of our Edens. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
11. Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. - H. L. Mencken
12. Heaven's ebon vault,
Studded with stars, unutterably bright,
Through which the moon's unclouded grandeur rolls,
Seems like a canopy which love has spread
To curtain her sleeping world. - Percy Bysshe Shelley, Queen Mab.
13. They say there's a heaven for those who will wait.
Some say it's better, but I say it ain't.
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
Sinners are much more fun. - Billy Joel
14. To me heaven would be a big bull ring with me holding two barrera seats and a trout stream outside that no one else was allowed to fish in and two lovely houses in the town; one where I would have my wife and children and be monogamous and love them. - Earnest Hemingway
15. Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
16. Why-do they shut Me out of Heaven?
Did I sing-too loud?
But-I can say a little "Minor"
Timid as a Bird!
Wouldn't the Angels try me-
Just-once-more-
Just-see-if I troubled them-
But don't-shut the door!
Oh, if I-were the Gentleman
In the "White Robe"-
And they-were the little Hand-that knocked-
Could-I-forbid? - Emily Dickinson
17. I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse. - Isaac Asimov
18. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. - Mark Twain
19. Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed. - Mark Twain
20. Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven and hell and I have only a vague curiosity about one of those. - Mark Twain
21. Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. - Ayn Rand
22. The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven. - John Milton
23. To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
24. How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein
25. But suppose God is black? What if we go to Heaven and we, all our lives, have treated the Negro as an inferior, and God is there, and we look up and He is not white? What then is our response. - Robert F. Kennedy
26. I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever. - Amy Tan
27. Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal. - Thomas Moore
28. I am the Resurrection, and the Life: he that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die. - Jesus, Bible, John 11. 25-26.
29. Love is the only bow on life's dark cloud. It is the Morning and the Evening Star. It shines upon the cradle of the babe, and sheds its radiance upon the quiet tomb. It is the mother of Art, inspirer of poet, patriot, and philosopher. It is the air and light of every heart, builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody, for Music is the voice of Love. Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to joy, and makes right royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of the wondrous flower -- the heart and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven and we are gods. - Robert G. Ingersoll, Orthodoxy.
30. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - Jesus, Bible, John 3. 16.
31. We have no evidence whatsoever that the soul perishes with the body. - Mahatma Gandhi
32. Death ... is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. - Helen Keller
33. Every exit is an entry somewhere else. - Tom Stoppard
34. Heaven means to be one with God. - Confucius
35. The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now. - James Arthur Baldwin
36. Heaven liveth at the feet of mothers. - Muhammad
37. I feel within me that future life. I am like a forest that has been razed; the new shoots are stronger and brighter. I shall most certainly rise toward the heavens. … The nearer my approach to the end, the plainer is the sound of immortal symphonies of worlds which invite me. For half a century I have been translating my thoughts into prose and verse: history, philosophy, drama, romance, tradition, satire, ode, and song; all of these I have tried. But I feel I haven't given utterance to the thousandth part of what lies within me. When I go to the grave I can say, as others have said, "My day's work is done." But I cannot say, "My life is done." My work will recommence the next morning. The tomb is not a blind alley; it is a thoroughfare. It closes upon the twilight, but opens upon the dawn. - Victor Hugo
38. In My Father's house are many mansions. - Jesus, Bible, John 14. 2.
39. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat … and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. - Bible, Revelations 7. 16-17.
40. If the Lord should bring a wicked man to heaven, heaven would be hell to him; for he who loves not grace upon earth will never love it in heaven. - Christopher Love
41. The body of Benjamin Franklin, Printer, like the cover of an old book, its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here. ... Yet the Work itself shall not be lost; for it will, as he believed, appear once more in a new and more beautiful edition, corrected and amended by the Author. - Epitaph of Benjamin Franklin
42. Heaven wheels above you, displaying to you her eternal glories, and still your eyes are on the ground. - Dante Alighieri
43. Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. - Eskimo proverb
44. To pretend to describe the excellence, the greatness or duration of the happiness of heaven by the most artful composition of words would be but to darken and cloud it; to talk of raptures and ecstasies, joy and singing, is but to set forth very low. - Jonathan Edwards
45. Men and women will retain their sex in heaven. - Pope John Paul II
46. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. - Jesus, Bible, Mark 10. 15.
47. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. - Jesus, Bible, Matthew 19. 24.
48. He whose head is in heaven need not fear to put his feet into the grave. - Matthew Henry
49. Good news from heaven the angels bring,
Glad tidings to the earth they sing:
To us this day a child is given,
To crown us with the joy of heaven. - Martin Luther
50. An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather. - Washington Irving
51. There is no Heaven, there is no Hell;
These are the dreams of baby minds;
Tools of the wily Fetisheer,
To fright the fools his cunning blinds. - Sir Richard Burton
52. Heaven-born, the soul a heavenward course must hold; beyond the world she soars; the wise man, I affirm, can find no rest in that which perishes, nor will he lend his heart to ought that doth time depend. - Michelangelo
53. Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet. - William Butler Yeats
54. To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens. - Bible
55. "On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it." - Jules Renard
56. "Everyone who has ever built anywhere a 'new heaven' first found the power thereto in his own hell." - Friedrich Nietzsche
57. "As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven,
it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." - John Lancaster Spalding
58. “I should have no use for a paradise in which I should be deprived of the right to prefer hell.” - Jean Rostand
59. "Fanatics have their dreams, wherewith they weave
A paradise for a sect." - John Keats (The Fall of Hyperion)
60. "We must prefer real hell to an imaginary paradise." - Simone Weil
61. "I have read descriptions of Paradise that would make any sensible person stop wanting to go there." - Charles de Secondat
62. "Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but a hell." - Karl Popper
63. "It is a curious thing that every creed promises a paradise
which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste." - Evelyn Waugh
64. "It is not good to be alone, even in Paradise." - Yiddish Proverb
65. "There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive
in paradise and look like your passport photo." - Erma Bombeck
66. "I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” - Jorge Luis Borges
67. "A person who has not completely lost the memory of paradise, even though it is a faint one,
will suffer endlessly. He will feel the call of the essential world, will hear the voice that comes
from so far away that one cannot find out where it comes from, a voice that cannot guide him." - Eugene Ionesco (Present Past/Past Present)
68. "The joys of heaven are for most of us, in our present condition, an acquired taste" - CS Lewis
69. "The key to heaven's gate cannot be duplicated." - Doug Horton
70. "We were created in order to live in Paradise, and Paradise was ordained to serve us.
What was ordained for us has been changed; it is not said
that this has also happened with what was ordained for Paradise." - Franz Kafka
71. “'Where the tree of knowledge stands, there is always paradise': thus speak the oldest and the youngest serpents." - Friedrich Nietzsche
72. "The joys of heaven are for most of us, in our present condition, an acquired taste" - C.S. Lewis
73. "Where choice begins, Paradise ends, innocence ends, for what is
Paradise but the absence of any need to choose this action?" - Arthur Miller
74. "Scientific truth is marvelous, but moral truth is divine and whoever
breathes its air and walks by its light has found the lost paradise." - Horace Mann
75. "The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors;
it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish." - Evelyn Waugh
76. "Thou hast the keys of PARADISE, oh just, subtle, and mighty opium!" - Thomas De Quincey
77. "The academy is not paradise. But learning is a place where paradise can be created." - Bell Hooks
78. "A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell!" - Thomas Fuller
79. “Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?” - Robert Browning
80. "Only a fool would refuse to enter a fool’s paradise — when
that’s the only paradise he’ll ever have a chance to enter." - Jessamyn West
81. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde
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